The only perfect father is our heavenly Father, the ultimate source of all life, love, and goodness.

Most human fathers do a reasonably good job of parenting and do their best to support and encourage their children. As flawed human beings, though, none of us gets everything right. All fathers can at times be impatient, irritable, selfish, neglectful, or overly harsh. However, children are wired to trust and love their parents, and generally cope okay with our imperfections.

The high level in our society of part-time or absent fathers is far from ideal.

Tragically, some children are exposed to fathers (or other males living in the home) who may be variously indifferent, demeaning, cruel, under the influence of drugs or alcohol, prone to rage, violent, or committing abuse. Seriously bad fathering causes serious long-term harm.

What can Christian men do to be the best fathers they possibly can?

Here are three things to consider:

• In both word and action, profoundly love your children. Give them the loving fatherly attention, affection, and guidance they really need. Don’t neglect them, don’t belittle them, don’t condone unacceptable behaviour, don’t be excessively strict, don’t punish harshly. Be accessible, be gentle but firm, be as calm as you can, be reasonable, be fair, be kind, have fun with them, teach them about God (Deut. 6:6-7), and give them good boundaries. Be determined that you will never do them harm (Ephes. 6:4).
• Give your children a credible example of what it means to follow Christ, to love God and love others, to be shaped by God’s values and led by the Spirit, and to be committed to serving God and others in and beyond the church. Read the Bible with them, pray with them and pray for them, and be actively involved with them in a good church.
• Give your children a great example of what it means to be a loving, faithful, considerate, gentle, and caring husband (Ephes. 5:25,28), and what it means to be a good father.

Author: Dr Stuart Lange

Dr Stuart Lange is the National Director of the NZCN and is a Senior Research Fellow at Laidlaw College, where he was formerly Vice Principal. Stuart wrote and presented the historical DVD documentary Te Rongopai: 200 years of the Gospel in New Zealand, 1814-2014.