The percentage of New Zealanders marrying is decreasing, as a recent report highlighted.

Whether you’re married or single, we’re sure you can agree that strong marriages are very beneficial for those who are married, and for their children, and for wider society. Unfortunately, many marriages are not in great shape.

Of all people, Christians should aim to ensure their marriages are as healthy as possible. It is tragic when any marriage struggles or fails, but arguably even more so when it involves Christians.

Some key elements of a healthy marriage include…

• • A very strong commitment to each other
  • Absolute faithfulness, and trustworthiness
  • Regularly praying together, and ensuring our faith is central rather than peripheral
  • Continuing to take delight in each other, expressing love in words, manner, actions, and time spent together
  • Always seeking our spouse’s wellbeing, rather than just our own (loving others as much as we love ourselves, Matt. 12:39)
  • Doing our best to support and help each other, and to share our burdens
  • Listening well, and always taking an interest in our spouse
  • Speaking gently and peaceably with each other, rather than brusquely, irritably, or harshly (1 Cor. 13:4: Love is patient, love is kind)
  • Respecting and encouraging each other, rather than putting each other down, and continually criticising
  • Working on our own faults, instead of concentrating on our spouse’s faults
  • Avoiding destructive behaviours such as bickering, coercion, fits of temper, or fights (Eph. 4:31: Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice)
  • When we fall short, being quick to give or receive an apology, and then to move on with forgiveness, forbearance, and grace (Eph. 4:32: Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you)

— A few thoughts from the NZCN staff team (all married, and all still learning)

Author: Guest Author