Statistics indicate that less than half of adults in New Zealand are married, and the remainder are single, in de facto partnerships, or widowed, separated or divorced. But marriage still matters, and it matters that marriages be loving, healthy, and committed. Such marriages are good for everyone: for those within them, for children, and for our whole society.

There are many strong marriages out there. Tragically, though, many marriages struggle or fail.

Christians cannot presume to tell others New Zealanders how to live their lives. But the Christian faith and the Bible do offer many profound and timeless insights into marriage.

From the outset, and in Jesus’ teaching, the Bible presents marriage as the deep union of a man and a woman, a relationship that is loving, faithful, and life-long.

The Bible also attests to humanity being universally marred by sinfulness. Every marriage (including Christian marriages) involves two flawed people. It follows that a key dynamic in building a loving, stable, and happy marriage is to lean into God and experience his Holy Spirit changing us inwardly, so that we become better marriage partners.

It is good to bear in mind that much of the Bible’s teaching about how Christians should treat other people can also be applied to marriage. Like: loving others as much as ourselves, “love is patient and kind” (1 Cor. 13), speaking the truth in love, and being gentle, forbearing, peace-loving, and willing to forgive. A quick Bible search brings up multiple references to all these things, especially in the New Testament.

Marriage is a great gift of God, and not just for Christians. What matters most in any marriage is not the wedding celebration, but the quality of the marriage over the years ahead, a quality which can either grow or decline.

May God bless marriage in New Zealand, and may loving, flourishing, and enduring marriages – including those of many Christians – be helpful examples to our watching world.

Author: Dr Stuart Lange

Dr Stuart Lange is the National Director of the NZCN and is a Senior Research Fellow at Laidlaw College, where he was formerly Vice Principal. Stuart wrote and presented the historical DVD documentary Te Rongopai: 200 years of the Gospel in New Zealand, 1814-2014.