Te Rongopai DVD
Dr Stuart Lange presents a five-part series documenting the story of the Gospel in New Zealand from Samuel Marsden forwards – its impact, the complications, and the way Christianity has had a significant impact in shaping New Zealand society both then and now. DVD: 65 mins in 5 chapters
14-15 May 2019
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If you haven’t heard of John Gottman then I highly recommend that you check him out. He heads up the Gottman Institute which teaches marital and relationship stability. His findings after 40 years of studying thousands of couples have revolutionised the study of marriage.
If you’ve attended our Weekend To Remember you’ll know we talk about 5 myths of marriage. Dr Gottman has come up with 12 Myths of his own. If you’d like to read all 12 then go to his website here. For a teaser I’ve selected 5 and added my two cents worth in colour.
1. Marriage is just a piece of paper.
The psychological and physical benefits of actually being married are enormous. After 50 years of social epidemiology, it has been established that in developed countries the greatest source of health, wealth, longevity, and the ultimate welfare of children is a satisfying and healthy marriage. God’s original design for us to enjoy a lifetime of companionship stands up under scrutiny and testing. No surprise there. Marriage is good for us.
2. Conflict is a sign that you’re in a bad relationship.
Conflict is inevitable in all relationships. Furthermore, conflict is there for a reason – to improve our understanding of our partner. Conflict usually arises from missed attempts to communicate, especially in one person attempting to get emotionally closer to the other. Conflict also emerges from discrepancies between partners in expectations. These are worth talking about. Ever thought conflict meant you had a bad marriage? Even the best of marriages have periods of hurt, disappointment and isolation. Conflict is normal, and if handled well may bring you closer together.
3. Love is enough.
Love is not enough, because in most marriages – especially after a baby arrives – people stop courting one another and they stop making romance, great sex, fun, and adventure a priority. Relationships have a tendency to become endless to-do lists, and conversation becomes limited to errand talk. You need to intentionally make (or keep) these parts of a relationship a priority. Stuck in a rut of to-do lists and emails? We have great resources to help you redefine your priorities.
4. All relationship conflicts can be resolved.
Quite the opposite. In fact, 69% of relationship conflicts are perpetual (they keep recurring), so what is required is acceptance of one another’s personality differences. Dialogue about these perpetual issues to avoid gridlock and resentment. The goal then is to manage conflict, not resolve it. Generally these on-going differences exist in a deep value or belief, even a dream that the other person has. It’s unlikely that conflict will resolve it. What we must try to do for each other is seek to uncover the real deep-seated cause. It may be as a result of an experience in their past. It may be necessary to let it be.
5. It’s compatibility that makes relationships work.
It’s diversity that makes relationships interesting. We are not looking for our clones. Agreeability and conscientiousness are the characteristics that people really mean when they talk about “compatibility.” These qualities are indexed by a person being able to say things like “Good point,” or “That’s interesting, tell me more” or, “You may be right, and I may be wrong” during a disagreement.” Did you read my last Notes from Nikki? I talked about this very point. Click here. I like that saying, Compatibility is very nice but not really necessary. Commitment is not very nice but absolutely necessary.
Jump in Puddles
Jules Riding has travelled extensively throughout New Zealand and many countries with music ministry for more than twenty years, continuing this summer with a tour around New Zealand, before embarking on his European tour. See the listing for tour details...
(+64) 27 218 9384
Emmanuel Family Camp is a weekend of support, encouragement and fun for families affected by disability. We have kids and youth programmes in the mornings while parents meet for worship and a time of sharing. Afternoons are relaxed with optional activities for the whole family....
(09) 636 4763
Elevate Christian Disability Trust
Scripture in Song has turned 50. Worship, as it was back in 1968, took a radical turn through pioneers and worship leaders David and Dale Garrett. "Come with us as we and some of our friends both local and international, worship God together, share treasures and pass on how we interpreted the original legacy of God’s word to us, “lead the people to me”. When we first began Scripture in Song this was a simple but clear mandate."...
Scripture in Song
This new webinar series is a stimulating training resource for the ongoing development of leaders, practitioners, and volunteers.
Our focus is on what you need to learn right now: material that will resource you in your current leadership and volunteer roles.
MARCH - Culture: God, humanity, and the project of Creation
APRIL - Old Testament: The Prophets (an introduction)
MAY - Pastoral Care: The local church
JUNE - New Testament: Reading the Gospels well
JULY - Youth: The Gospel and the next generation
AUGUST - Mission: Households in Mission in Acts and Today
SEPTEMBER - History: Fighting for Peace (the...
Carey Centre for Lifelong Learning
+64 9 526 6362
A FamilyLife Weekend to Remember Getaway is a marriage conference uniquely designed to help you and your partner escape the daily grind and focus on your relationship. For most couples, it’s a chance to reconnect, re-establish the foundation and rekindle romance. For others, it’s a fresh start. For some, it will be the weekend that saves a marriage.
By learning and applying timeless principles for a healthy marriage from our trained team of speakers, you and your partner can: - connect with each other at a closer level - improve the way you communicate - anticipate conflict and handle it...
0800 800 680
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