Te Rongopai DVD
Dr Stuart Lange presents a five-part series documenting the story of the Gospel in New Zealand from Samuel Marsden forwards – its impact, the complications, and the way Christianity has had a significant impact in shaping New Zealand society both then and now. DVD: 65 mins in 5 chapters
14-15 May 2019
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If you haven’t heard of John Gottman then I highly recommend that you check him out. He heads up the Gottman Institute which teaches marital and relationship stability. His findings after 40 years of studying thousands of couples have revolutionised the study of marriage.
If you’ve attended our Weekend To Remember you’ll know we talk about 5 myths of marriage. Dr Gottman has come up with 12 Myths of his own. If you’d like to read all 12 then go to his website here. For a teaser I’ve selected 5 and added my two cents worth in colour.
1. Marriage is just a piece of paper.
The psychological and physical benefits of actually being married are enormous. After 50 years of social epidemiology, it has been established that in developed countries the greatest source of health, wealth, longevity, and the ultimate welfare of children is a satisfying and healthy marriage. God’s original design for us to enjoy a lifetime of companionship stands up under scrutiny and testing. No surprise there. Marriage is good for us.
2. Conflict is a sign that you’re in a bad relationship.
Conflict is inevitable in all relationships. Furthermore, conflict is there for a reason – to improve our understanding of our partner. Conflict usually arises from missed attempts to communicate, especially in one person attempting to get emotionally closer to the other. Conflict also emerges from discrepancies between partners in expectations. These are worth talking about. Ever thought conflict meant you had a bad marriage? Even the best of marriages have periods of hurt, disappointment and isolation. Conflict is normal, and if handled well may bring you closer together.
3. Love is enough.
Love is not enough, because in most marriages – especially after a baby arrives – people stop courting one another and they stop making romance, great sex, fun, and adventure a priority. Relationships have a tendency to become endless to-do lists, and conversation becomes limited to errand talk. You need to intentionally make (or keep) these parts of a relationship a priority. Stuck in a rut of to-do lists and emails? We have great resources to help you redefine your priorities.
4. All relationship conflicts can be resolved.
Quite the opposite. In fact, 69% of relationship conflicts are perpetual (they keep recurring), so what is required is acceptance of one another’s personality differences. Dialogue about these perpetual issues to avoid gridlock and resentment. The goal then is to manage conflict, not resolve it. Generally these on-going differences exist in a deep value or belief, even a dream that the other person has. It’s unlikely that conflict will resolve it. What we must try to do for each other is seek to uncover the real deep-seated cause. It may be as a result of an experience in their past. It may be necessary to let it be.
5. It’s compatibility that makes relationships work.
It’s diversity that makes relationships interesting. We are not looking for our clones. Agreeability and conscientiousness are the characteristics that people really mean when they talk about “compatibility.” These qualities are indexed by a person being able to say things like “Good point,” or “That’s interesting, tell me more” or, “You may be right, and I may be wrong” during a disagreement.” Did you read my last Notes from Nikki? I talked about this very point. Click here. I like that saying, Compatibility is very nice but not really necessary. Commitment is not very nice but absolutely necessary.
Jump in Puddles
Picture this. A warm summers afternoon, sitting with a bunch of mates at the Music Box (a stage on the back of a truck) sipping on freshly squeezed OJ, listening to Strahan woo you with his silky tones. Imagine lining up with a plate, a knife and a fork, the smell of Argentinian style BBQ wafting past your nose, when a heap of fresh produce is lumped onto your plate, followed up by a nice thick cut of export quality beef. Imagine sitting in the One Arena surrounded by thousands of people, listening to some of the best theologians the...
This summer, we're excited to invite you and your worship team to formatio: a one-day gathering exploring apprenticeship to Jesus. ...
The first children's ministry training day for 2019 provided by CBM.
In this training day we cover: Ministry to children, Effectively presenting the Gospel, Counselling New Christians, Memorizing Scripture and have practical group sessions
Cost for the day is 75.00 pp includes notes and morning tea
+64 9 630 5271
Jules Riding has travelled extensively throughout New Zealand and many countries with music ministry for more than twenty years, continuing this summer with a tour around New Zealand, before embarking on his European tour. See the listing for tour details...
(+64) 27 218 9384
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