Have you seen the social media hashtag #metoo? It seems to have sprung up everywhere since American actor, Alyssa Milano tweeted:
Me too.
Suggested by a friend: ‘If all the women who have been sexually harassed or assaulted wrote “Me too” as a status, we might give people a sense of the magnitude of the problem.’
Like thousands of other women around the world, I responded. Me too.
Sadly, I wasn’t surprised when several my friends and relatives did the same. But this particular post captures the heart of what happens when someone allows Jesus to intervene.
On behalf of so many others, thank you Lyn, for giving me permission to share it here.
Me too. #metoo
I’m not posting this just so people can be aware of how big the problem of sexual harrassment/assault is. Yes it’s important to know the problem exists and how widespread it is. Yes it’s important that we speak up and do all we can to stop it.
But I’m posting for those who have had this happen to them – it’s important to know that your life doesn’t have to be forever defined by what happened. How do I know because I’ve been there. I was abused for many years by family members. What happened was real, horrific to go through and wrong on so many levels.
But what happened to me and to you does not have to define who you are; only you get to choose what defines you. You are the only one who can choose whether your identity is bound to what happened or you can choose whether your identity is found in who you are apart from that event or events. Your identity is not found in being “a victim of…” Your identity is found in who you are in your personality and character – are you honest, funny, kind, loving, giving, etc – that’s who you are, that’s your identity!
If you need help in processing what you’ve been through then please get help, don’t feel you are alone or have to go through this on your own. There are many good counsellors out there who are experienced in helping people and giving them the skills needed to move beyond this. Can I also suggest that there is true healing to be found – in the one who bore our griefs and sorrows in himself – Jesus. I know some of you will not agree with me speaking about Jesus but for myself I have found that as I have allowed him to bring comfort and healing that has been beyond mere learning how to cope, He has truly taken away all the sting and pain of the many years of abuse I suffered.
Remember – even though something horrific may have happened to you it doesn’t define you – you are still you, you are valued, loved and loveable, you are unique and precious and all of us need you to stand up and tell your story.
If you haven’t been through this yourself then please be aware that many have, please don’t stay silent – silence is part of what allows this hideous practice to continue.
If you’re a Christian then can I ask you – please reach out to those who are hurting and love them back to wholeness again. Grieve with those who grieve, pray with those who need prayer, and fight for those who can’t.
#metoo
Continuing on the #metoo theme for just a little longer. I am all too aware that sexual harassment and abuse is not confined to one sex only, it is not only women that are preyed upon; too many boys and young men are preyed upon by others (male and female) too.
Again I have seen this in my family growing up, some of my brothers were preyed upon by men who should have known better, who should have been the responsible adult yet whose sexual appetite ruled when their brain should have. As a result of the abuse we suffered as kids my family grew up having to deal with much brokenness, believing lies about ourselves, being tormented by memories and sometimes physical effects, wrong mindsets about who they were and with dysfunction in so many areas. Each of us responded differently but the trauma and pain is still evident for so many of us. And so the abuse continues – it did not end just because the physical part of it ended – it continues to have an effect in our family even today.
There are too many men who feel they cannot speak out for varying reasons – because their manhood would be questioned, they would be ashamed etc. So they live with brokenness and dysfunction, hoping no one finds out yet secretly hoping someone will recognise they need help.
As I said earlier I know of only one who bore our griefs and sorrows, taking them upon himself and in doing so made a way for us to be healed and that was Jesus. Can I ask, please if you need healing, consider reaching out and asking Jesus to bring you healing, he’s the only one I know who can.
Men – as I said in my earlier post today when I shared my personal story – even though something horrific may have happened to you it doesn’t need to define you – you are still you, you are valued, loved and loveable, you are unique and precious and all of us need you to stand up and tell your story.
If you haven’t been through this yourself then please be aware that many have, please don’t stay silent speak out against it; silence is part of what allows this hideous practice to continue.
If you’re a Christian then can I ask you – please reach out to those who are hurting and love them back to wholeness again. Grieve with those who grieve, pray with those who need prayer, and fight for those who can’t.
Author: NZCN Team
Gayann and her husband, Stephen, have provided web design and email communication support to NZCN since 2006. Gayann homeschooled their two children for nine years before she was ‘made redundant’ and officially joined our staff. Stephen and Gayann currently fellowship at The Upper Room, in Newmarket.
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